A Poisonous Lack of Knowledge

Every time we come in contact with others, us as human beings share an experience. Sometimes we are aware it's happening and other days we are not so aware. Some days we care and other days we dont. 

We all share the experience of being judged. 

Like a lot of you reading this now Iv'e had my fair share of those days where we know we're being judged. One in particular that got me really thinking happened the other week when I shared a makeup image of myself online. Within 18 minutes of this image being on the internet over 50 negative comments had been made about my face and in particular my lips. One comment that stood out to me personally read, quote - "superficial bitches like this should kill themselves" 

This is worth discussing because I know I'm not the first and I won't be the last person online to be told to go and kill themselves. I also know when similar words like this were carelessly tossed my way some years ago my reaction was different to what it is today. 

The other morning when this happened I was incredibly lucky to wake up next to the love of my life and be embraced by a woman of such warmth. 

I was lucky enough to wake up mentally stable. 

I was lucky enough to be living honestly and out of the closet.

I was lucky enough to wake up free from physical and emotional abuse.

I was lucky enough to wake up healthy. 

 I was lucky enough to wake up so incredibly happy. 

But this hasn't always been the case and definetely isn't the reality for a lot of other people in this current moment. 

Iv'e worked relentlessly hard to be where I am today but I'm going to be brave and honest with you and say iv'e definitely not always been okay nor had the coping skills that I have now. 

Whilst I appreciate rawness i'm not going to expose my entire life story on the internet but what I will do is share some rough statistics of circumstances that some of you may fit into as I do.

- 350+ are currently living with depression and anxiety.
- 1 in 5 people have experienced sexual abuse in their childhood and are still dealing with/not dealing with the long term effects of this kind of trauma.
- 1 in 10 people have experienced the addiction of self harming. Even when this coping mechanism has subsided living with a body mutilation for some can be a whole new embarrassing trauma on its own.
-70,000+ have had suicidal thoughts which then progressed onto a suicide attempt or attempts.
-17% of all women and 5% of men have experienced violence by their partner since the age of 15
- 6 in 10 LGBT people have experienced some form of homophobia.

Whilst you read these numbers iv'e presented to you I urge you to remember how secretive and isolating a lot of this is for people and realistically we don't have a clue how many more people are enduring these kinds of obstacles and many more.
 I say this because whilst all of my personal struggles were going on for me no one would of had any idea apart from those very few people close to me. I still dressed the same, looked the same, did my makeup the same, posted selfies the same, spoke the same, laughed the same, smiled the same - my life was not, and is still not visible through my skin or public/internet presence. This goes for all of the other billions of people out there too. A human beings life, struggle, success whatever it may be does not show on their skin nor their face or even their chosen words. 

I ask you for one moment to and stop think about what some people are currently enduring. I ask you to think about the masses of people living with a struggle. You are most likely one of theses people too.
Now think about how it would feel to have a stranger tear you apart, call you names, completely undermine you and tell you to kill yourself.

I know my words won't change the world or even touch the surface but I hope if you've donated me this much of your precious time to read to the end that next time you are tempted to judge you do so with the knowledge that your words could just be an overdose to an already poisoned life.

For those of you who are reading from a relating point of you I hope you know that as corny as it sounds you aren't alone.

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I leave my comment box open for you & would love to hear more from other people on this subject. 

I use makeup, skincare, beauty, fashion and all of those light hearted things as a healthy distraction and creative outlet and I know a lot of you do too so I promise my next post will be a more light hearted one so please don't stop checking in. 

Take care until then xx